Sunday as usual! Bosses are extraordinary creatures with supernatural powers. They can hear your whisper “Ohh, I messed up” from 6 cabins away. While playing golf, they can tell if you left at 5:59 P.M. Their X-ray vision can spot you shopping online, and they can hear your whisper, “Ohh, I messed up, behind a wall.
Being one myself and having dealt with many, I know a thing or two about bosses. Hence, I feel qualified to write about them. And sufficiently guilty.
They can handle pressure, as they have delegation powers.
They can handle mistakes, as they have many people to hold accountable.
They can even handle success, as they know how to take ownership.
The company says, “open door policy.” But enter the boss’s door at your own risk. When the boss announces “no work talk” at a team dinner, he’s obviously the exception. He can start discussing work before the starters arrive. Remember, at off-sites, nothing spoken or done is ever really ‘off the record’.
“Take your time.”
“I don’t want this to become a blame game.”
“You know, I trust you.”
“We are one family.”
“I want your honest opinion.”
These are not simple sentences. They are profound ‘boss’ statements with deep meanings. Not for me to decode.
Bosses can repeat the same instructions for years; confident you will follow them one day. They CC you all so that no one can say tomorrow, “I didn’t know.”
At the end of the day, the boss is a fairly cute creature.
Just remember: Boss’s “Hmm” is dangerous. “Hmmmm” is fatal.
OTR Footnotes:
If you want to forward this to your boss, just add: “This is about other bosses.”
My ex-boss reads this column. Sweetest person on earth.
If you are a boss yourself, stop wearing Meta glasses at offsites.
Last Sip:
Is the Delhi vs Mumbai debate still active?
Just #OFF THE RECORD
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