It takes eight seconds or maybe less.
Eight seconds to say, “Reached safely.”
Eight seconds to type, “Thinking of you.”
Eight seconds to let someone know they crossed your mind.
Yet in a world where we are constantly connected, many relationships quietly starve and end not because of conflict but because of neglect. The other person on the receiving end, however, has given you a long rope and always comes back, saying, ‘I understand.’
If you are quick to respond and stay connected, does that suggest you are desperate or have less work? I really wonder what egoic psychology is. If it’s a power game, a mindset, or just a trait, someone may not be genuinely interested.
Why is it complicated?
Most of us have experienced it. We send a message to someone we care about and wait. Hours pass. Sometimes days. The mind begins to fill the silence with stories. Are they upset? Did something happen? Do I matter?
It is just that people who value relationships make a point of putting in the effort. Gradually, late responses, unseen messages, weeks of lack of connection, gradually cut all chords, and life keeps moving until one day, in a pause, one realises what’s been missing.
Closest of relations we may take for granted, their presence may not be on our everyday menu, but like salt missing from food, life may not be that palatable.
Personal calls are dominated by WhatsApp; blue-tick communication is also real; no message is the loudest message, and delayed single-word messages; each of these has a trajectory leading to the funeral of a relationship.
Do the people in our lives feel that they matter?
We humans rarely expect perfection. What we seek is acknowledgement. A small sign that says, “I see you. I haven’t forgotten you. You matter to me.” Relationships are not built through grand gestures alone. They are nurtured in the seemingly insignificant moments, the message sent before boarding a flight, the quick check-in after a difficult day, the simple note that says, “Hectic but I’m okay.”
What makes it special is if the other person remembers your last unfinished conversation or mentions an issue which you were facing the last time you connected. It simply shows, ‘I care, I hear you.’
Despite being swamped with work, sending a picture, even if it is random, has meaning for the other person; it says, “I am thinking of you.” If you cannot make it on time, just drop a line to let them know. Make it for it the next time.
The reality is that priority is not always measured by time. It is measured by intention. We make room for what we value. And yes, no message is also a strong message. Calls left unreturned are a silent but invaluable cue for you to rewire and ask yourself: Do I matter to this person?
Priority or an option?
Perhaps the question is whether, amidst all the noise, we are still making space for the people who have stood beside us through our victories, disappointments, and ordinary days. A priority is not someone we spend every moment with. A priority is someone we make an effort to consider, even in the middle of a hectic day. Not because we have abundant time, but because we value the connection.
Personally, I feel consideration is becoming one of the rarest forms of generosity. Not because it requires much effort, but because it requires intention.